How to Win Back Your Girl (in 7 steps)
Is it really over? Not if you can keep your cool... Winning back a love is a challenging thing to do, mainly because our emotions get in the way of the rational thinking we need to do in order to see things from the other person's perspective. This how-to guide is written from the perspective of a male trying to win back a female, but I'm certain most of the principles are universal.
How to Win Back Your Girl (in 7 steps)
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Things You'll Need:
- Will power
- Patience
- Determination
- Confidence
- Friends
- Love
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Don't call her. Don't e-mail, text, or write a letter. If y'all were serious you could send the perfect greeting card (not an e-card), but just sign it. Let the card do the talking. Don't send flowers yet, either. Winning back your love is a delicate balance between being available and being valuable.
- When trying to win back your girlfriend, don't answer the first time she calls. Either call her back (later) or wait for the 2nd call from her. If you don't have the will power to let it ring, she won't have much reason to still be interested in you. She should think you are living life, not just sitting at home thinking about her. If you haven't heard from her in 8 days, you could take it as a sign, or, if you're really sure about this, start thinking about a text or a casual phone call. Try to have some kind of real reason to contact her other than "I miss you." No e-mails, please. The reason we are playing 'hard to get' is simple psychology. It is also simple economics, which is mainly psychological. "Supply and Demand". If you seem too eager to speak with her, you are certainly not in short supply. You are a surplus, thus your value goes down.
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When the two of you are finally in direct communication, your goal is to seem like you are glad to be friends with her (which you should be, if you really care about her!) and that being broken up isn't that big of a deal to you. It's fine to express you were glad to be together, but don't ever let her think that you feel a NEED to be with her -- because she knows you don't NEED her. If she doesn't think you need her, she will want you to want her, because it makes her feel important. You want to play it cool, though, and talk about new things you are doing (its okay to exaggerate a little but never fib).
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Talk about plans you have, things you're excited about doing, and then ask her how she is doing. Don't ask it like "are you okay since we're broken up", just be genuinely interested in how she is. The most important thing is to be sincere -- this is not a game, and if you can't be sincere with her than the best thing is probably to accept that you didn't work out and move on with your life.
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Be prepared for total rejection, but don't expect it by any means. You are playing the role of 'cool, happy dude' who she is missing out on. Your goal is never to ask if she wants to get back together -- your goal is to be so awesome that she feel like she is missing out on the wonderfulness that is you. You wait for her to ask about seeing one another.
- Maintain a balance between the two of you where for every time you call her, you wait for her to call you. It's okay if a day, or even up to 3 days go by without talking. That just means you are a confident man who has plenty of things going on in his life. If 3 days go by without hearing from her, it's fine to give a call and if there's no answer, leave a friendly message or better yet, no message at all. Do not call a 2nd time unless she calls first.
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When things start taking a romantic turn and it seems like y'all are getting back together, be the man and call her when you know she is free to talk. Never bug her at work if it is not welcome. Still though, you should only be calling her up to twice as often as she is calling you, or you become "needy" in her eyes again. She wants a strong man who can live without her, not a weak man who thinks he needs her to live.
Good Luck to You. =)
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